A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
by Atopos
Summary: Kurama and Hiei send the group on a treasure hunt so they can have some alone time. Warnings: Yaoi, HieixKurama, one swear, and a kiss!


Atopos - I own nothing, and some days I wish I didn't even own this. I look back at this and laugh, though. This was written three years ago, so, yeah... If anyone remembers this movie, then you know why I wrote it. It's kinda like Rat Race (again, don't own, never even seen) only better. I also took the name of this fic from that movie. If you know the Simpsons, it's the one where they have to find a treasure under the big 'T'. I'm just gonna keep going on if I don't stop soon, so I'm gonna leave you alone now.

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**A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World**

Hiei held Kurama's delicate hand tightly, not wanting to let go for anything. Kurama's eyes were closed and every so often a twinge of pain appeared on his soft features. The room was filled with their friends. None of them knew of the relationship the two demons were secretly having with each other and found this a simple act of friendship. After all, it wasn't everyday they were all called together to the temple when a teammate was hurt during battle. Kurama was the one who usually got hurt, but being struck down by an odd kind of venom was just…different.

After a long moment of silence, Kurama spoke up in a barely audible tone. "I guess I have to tell you guys everything before the poison takes full affect…" He paused dramatically, using the second to take in a deep breath, "In my past life as a Youko, I stole many things. A lot of demons believed I lost them all, but that is untrue…"

Another pause where everyone in the room leaned forward expectantly. Hiei did not, though. He just sat there with a far away expression on his face. His grip on Kurama's hand tightened drastically. Again, no one saw this. The mention of Youko's life worked wonders on their minds since not even Yukina knew much about it.

"Most of my treasure is hidden…" Kurama coughed into his sleeve to bring more suspense to his words, "I hid it all in one of my dens in the Demon World…"

Yusuke raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about? I've never seen you near any den."

Kurama chuckled while shaking his head which lay on a pillow, "No… No, I never visited it while I was with you guys… I promise, though, that there are enough riches, gold, diamonds, everything I stole is there… Nothing has ever been touched, but there must be millions… I want you to do me a favour…"

Even Keiko and Yukina were leaning over. They were standing next to Botan whose eyes glittered at the mention of all the diamonds. Kurama was known for his thieving abilities so the jewels would be expensive and plentiful.

Kurama opened his mouth again, "I would like you to place one of my ruby roses near my grave…" Hiei choked here. The fire demon covered his face with his left hand to hide his eyes. Kurama just moved a soothing hand over his shoulder. "I only have three ruby roses… They are very expensive, and yet were worthwhile to steal… Please do this for me… Whoever does may have whatever they wish from the cave… But they must give some to Hiei…"

Hiei's eyes widened slightly. No one in the world had ever given him such a generous offer. He took both of the fox's hands in his and whispered something to him. Kurama laughed, sounding sore all over, and let Hiei leave the room. The fire demon nodded to each person there before going outside, mumbling something about gathering some of Kurama's favourite wild flowers.

"The den…" Kurama began again, "is easy to find… It is close to here… Look for cherry blossoms… There aren't many in the Demon World… I wish you all luck… If there isn't anything there… Look around… I made secret tunnels in my younger years…"

The group backed out of the room that Genkai let the group bring Kurama to. He had been poisoned by some demon that Hiei said was incurable. There were all tearful to know that no one was able to heal him and decided it best to let him go out any way he wanted. Kurama did not want anyone to tell his mother anything except that there had been a horrible accident (they could make the story up) and that he wanted at least one person with him when he died. Hiei had volunteered much to everyone's surprise.

"So, do we find this treasure?" Yusuke asked, "He did want that ruby rose pretty badly."

"Yeah," Kuwabara said slyly, "it isn't right leaving all that out there in the world, especially a world full of demons. And he did say that he wanted the person to find the stash so they could help Hiei out…"

Both Kuwabara and Yusuke had plans for that treasure. Kuwabara wanted it for himself and Yukina while Yusuke and Keiko were sure that they could use it as well. Botan didn't know what she could do with it, but it sounded like fun to be in a real life treasure hunt and clothes shopping would make a splendid holiday.

In a blink of an eye, the five of them flew out of the temple. They passed Hiei on the way; the fire demon stared at them, confused. Shaking his head, he trudged back into the room with a tiny bouquet of flowers. Kurama was sitting on the edge of the bed so he could look out the window and into the woods.

"Are you alright?" Hiei asked quietly.

Kurama nodded, "This is going to be interesting, Hiei. So, what would you like to do in the mean time?"

Hiei smirked, tossing the flowers onto the desk. He took a couple of giant strides toward the bed where he forcefully pushed the fox backwards, demonstrating a much more entertaining way that their lips could be used.

Yusuke and Kuwabara felt as if they had both searched the entire Demon World for Kurama's hidden stash. Halfway there they decided it was best to work together. Kuwabara only wanted enough to move out of his parents' house and to buy an engagement ring for Yukina, so Yusuke could have whatever was left.

"How much do you think there is?" Yusuke asked, trying to keep his hopes up, "He said that there were three ruby roses. Do you think Hiei might want one as well? Y'know, to remind him of Kurama. And it's very likely his mother should be left something as well."

Kuwabara shrugged, "It's hard to say… It's not like she knew about it, right?"

Botan appeared over their heads. She had taken the girls ahead of the guys to look around. She seemed very happy at the moment. "We found it! The cherry blossoms, the den, and, hopefully, the treasure! It's all there, just like he said!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara picked up their pace. They ran to where Botan led them and saw that the girls were waiting excitedly for them. None of them dared to venture into a cave incase demons were inside it. Kurama did say that he hadn't been there in a while.

Yusuke went in first with Kuwabara not too far behind. Botan pulled a light out from somewhere in her kimono. So far, there was nothing. They all agreed, though, that Kurama and his team were suburb in the digging of the tunnels and dens. They went in every direction, so Kuwabara became useful as he tracked Kurama's demon energy left there from a millennium ago.

"Maybe Kurama got it wrong," Yukina suggested, walking right beside Keiko for safety. "He could have been delirious from fever… I don't like the looks of this cave either…"

"It can't be much further, precious Yukina," Kuwabara reassured her. "Kurama is smart enough to not lie to us, even if he is sick. This place just hasn't been inhabited for a few years. I can assure you that I, Kazuma Kuwabara, shall protect you with my life!"

Yusuke was about to talk until his ankle came in contact with something hard. He let slip a few curse words then thought this over. He shone the light down, only finding one tiny box. Everyone gathered around him, watching him as he opened it slowly. He pulled out a small piece of paper. That was it.

"Maybe it gives us directions," Keiko muttered hopefully.

Yusuke smiled lovingly at her then opened the note. Kuwabara held the light for him now as he read then re-read the letter in disbelief. The loopy letters and scented paper definitely belonged to Kurama at some point in time.

"Fucking kitsune!!" Yusuke yelled at the top of his lungs, "I knew this entire thing was off! There's no other explanation for it!"

Kuwabara took the paper before Yusuke crumpled it up and threw it to the ground in frustration. He read it out loud for the girls to hear and to grate on Yusuke's nerves once more.

"_Dear friends,_

_I find we must apologize deeply for this. We never meant for you to find out like this. Hiei and I are in a nice, romantic relationship and we love each other passionately. I hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive us because I faked my poison (the demon never shot poison, I deceived you), Hiei was laughing the entire time (that's why he was choking so many times, the bad liar), and at this current moment, we are having sex._

_Hope you had fun with our treasure hunt and I want you to know that my treasures are hidden elsewhere ;P_

_Sincerely,_

_Hiei x Kurama."_

Kuwabara flipped the note over to hide the words on the paper from his eyes. "Those two demons have way too much time on their hands."

- Atopos


End file.
